Sunday, January 17, 2010

One of THOSE women

Once upon a time I lurked* Not because I was pregnant, or planning to find myself in such a position any time soon, but because my best friend was in the family way. And I liked reading about how her baby was developing and researching all about pregnancy and whatnots...because that's how I roll. (and that's the beginning of the long story that landed me on some infertility blogs...maybe more on that later)

I recall, at the time, reading some comments from women who just couldn't wait the 1, 2, or 3 weeks until their doctor appointment and ultrasound. They just wanted to see it NOW.

And I rolled my eyes.

I mean, seriously - you only get to be pregnant for roughly 40 weeks, if all goes well...why would you want to rush through it? I figured, you should just take each day as it comes and enjoy it. Obviously. (clearly never been knocked up myself, right?)

Yeah. Well. I kind of can't wait for my ultrasound. I'm not dying of anticipation, but I also get to go in week 9 (I think I'm counting that right, I'll be 8 weeks, 2 days pregnant, but somehow that's week 9?) - many women had to wait for weeks 10, 11 or 12. I'm very glad I have the earlier option. I'm still enjoying every's just...I'm excited to see! I'm a very visual person and I feel seeing something, even a tiny gummy bear like figure, will make it all seem a lot more real. And it is going to be so amazing/weird to hear a heartbeat. Of I write this, I worry that there is the chance there will be no heartbeat. (mostly because I'm superstitious and the way I wrote about hearing it so positively freaks me out a little...and I worry too much, but you knew that)

And honestly, either way, I'm just anxious to know. It really is so weird not having a very good idea what's going on in your body. I mean, I know developmentally what should be happening...more or less. But it's not like I can feel anything down there yet...I've been tired a lot and had moments of queasiness and heightened smell, and the boobies are still ginormous and terrifying...but beyond that, how am I to know?

An ultrasound. That's how.

And thus the anticipation. So - to the Ladies I rolled my eyes at previously - my apologies. I get it now. :)

*I originally used the verb "trolled" here - I did not, in fact troll. I never left a comment, hateful or otherwise. I actually lurked, thus the update there. I'm not a hater. I was just ignorant and judgmental - but at least I had the common courtesy to keep it to myself. :)

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About this Blog

I have a journal. You know, the real kind...paper, bound in a book form...nice leather cover. And I do write in it...every few months. I like it, but somehow I find it hard to keep up regularly. I'm at a computer nearly all the time, so I find it easier to keep up on this blog. So, that's what this blog is for. To help me journal when I'm away from my journal. A place to collect my thoughts before I lose them to the chaos of my mind.

Or see my first post here. That's why I started this blog.