I'm Baaaacckkkk

For serious, I think I am. I'm feeling the regular blog-post mojo flowing again. For a long time I wasn't feeling it (OBVIOUSLY) and I think it's because I got out of my collecting habit. Like, in everything. We moved to the new apartment and I was getting rid of stuff I've held onto for 10 years or more. There just wasn't room. And somehow that new found freedom crept over into my blogging habits too. I really meant it when I described this as a place to "collect" my thoughts, apparently.

Well, I'm back to collecting them.

And what better place to start than a rant on my favorite topic to rant about: traffic. It seriously is the one common thing in my life that consistently gets my panties in a bunch. Ruffles my feathers. Seriously PISSES ME OFF. It may be that there is a disproportionately large number of bad drivers here in Phoenix, but I have a new theory. And it's that we ever let the "me-generation" behind the wheel.

Because, while feeling special and unique and "mommy loves you most" all the time might (but I doubt it) help you in other parts of daily life, it does NOT, in any way, help you or anyone else with driving. It will be Mr. Random's job to teach our young how to drive. And I find myself hoping that he teaches them, not to be safe drivers, but to drive like intelligent human beings. Because NO ONE does, but maybe if we start with our offspring, we'll have made the world a better place. But back to my theory - you see, the problem is, that everyone drives selfishly, like they're God's gift and everyone should flow around him. And God love us, we try. But if, INSTEAD, everyone, for one moment, focused on the good of the many, instead of the good of themselves, and just tried to focus on keeping a maximum efficient flow, we'd ALL WIN.

Don't fear, I'm part of this me-generation, and while I'm comfortably assured of my special specialness in other parts of my life, I like to think I'm part of the many when it comes to driving. As in, what's good for most drivers, will also benefit me. That's why I leave a gap when you're trying to merge into my lane - you're welcome. That's why I match whatever redonkulous speed you're driving in the left lane when I'm in the left lane because it becomes the exit lane...which will cause you to promptly slam on your brakes to try to re-enter the lane to your right when you figure it out at the last possible frickin second - never mind that there was signage for 3 miles prior to that point.

Maybe it's the geoscientist in me, but if we all just treated freeways and roadways like what they are - flow networks - and tried our hardest to not impede the general flow...we'd all get home a lot sooner.

And finally, for the surface streets: to you idiots that INSIST on crossing in the middle of the road, when there's a perfectly good cross walk a quarter mile or less down the road. I no longer have sympathy. I used to feel guilty when I didn't stop for you. No longer. I stopped for one of you today. And it was wrong of me to do so. I quickly figured it out. Why? Because I stopped the fricking flow of the road, and the good of the many, for your sorry ass. And you didn't even appreciate it. From now on, when I see such a sorry person standing in the suicide lane no where near a cross walk, I am not stopping. And I am no longer feeling bad about it. Not even when you drag your young out there with you. Darwin my friends. Darwin.