Car Seat Capers

Oh the drama. I had a 20% off coupon for BabiesRUs burning a hole in my pocket...it expires Thursday for crying outloud! (and I thought there was just one of these coupon dealies per month...I see now that they seem to be more like every week...but I didn't know that EARLIER when the caper commenced)

ANYWAY. So. 20% off coupon. What to buy? A carseat of course. Big purchase. Critically important. Groovey. I'd spent weeks previously researching brands for our registry. Weeks. Finally, after much deliberation, we (I) settled on the Graco Snugride. Mr. Random's only requirement was "the safest one". Well, many studies have found this to be that one. Plus it's compatible with a lot of different things, etc. etc.

So I registered us for one. In a lovely brown and green pattern. It's available online only...but hey, most our family live in a different state, it's probably more convenient to order online and have the store ship it anyway.

So, that settled the car seat issue, next up, was the stroller issue. I mean...do we do the travel system? Do we get a jogging stroller? Something else? We went with the jogging stroller...one that has good ratings and is compatible with the car seat I so carefully selected. Perfect! It's on the registry.

Right, so bring us up to Tuesday this week, when I drug Mr. Random to the store to look at these beauties in person. The coupon was only good in store, so we had to find something IN the store. Right then. It was like going back to square one, except, at least we knew to look only at Graco.

You'd think this would narrow things, and it did...a bit...but there were still at least 5 car seats, and then 5 or 6 travel systems, and there's the jogging strollers. I just couldn't decide! So we wound up leaving to think on it.

The problem was this. I liked the pattern of the travel system fabric. But the carseat in that deal only goes up to 22 lbs. SHOULD be fine...but Mr. Random was a chunker and many have been commenting on how large I am already....so, we wanted to get one that went to 32 or 35 lbs. Which...in store, only comes in red. Or a really hideous green and black thing. So Red. Which...is fine. Kind of gender neutral. I like it fine...it's just...it looks more boy than girl, and if we have a girl, I feel all kinds of irked at the idea of putting her in a frilly pink thing, and then into a RED car seat. Weird? I know. Dumb? I know. I'm pregnant. What do you expect?

So, we're thinking on it.

I do more research this morning. I find a travel system online that has the 32 lbs car seat, in a pattern I like, and for about the same price as if we'd gotten the one in store at 20% off. PERFECT. Why didn't I just order that one? Well...I'd started having doubts about the travel system concept. Did we want such a bulky stroller? Would we rather have a jogger if it's going to be bulky even tho it'll cost more? I JUST DON'T. KNOW.

The travel system I'm looking at does fold up and down really easy. It was totally intuitive in the store. But it's still BIG. And moderately heavy. SIGH.

So, I went to the store to look at them again. I called my mom, AT WORK, and made her talk with me about it. She advocated for the separates. And a smaller stroller. I called my sister, also at work...she didn't really have an opinion, not having had kids, but was nice to talk to. I called Mr. Random, AT WORK, to get HIS opinion, AGAIN.

Finally, I go with the separates option. I buy the blasted red one, because it goes to 35 lbs, it's got super ratings...and then we can get a smaller stroller or the jogger, whatever we decide later.

And I'm filled with buyer's remorse. Really, the biggest complaints against the travel system are: 1. it's bulky, and 2. as a consequence, we might only use it the first 6 months...once Baby Random can sit up in a smaller stroller and stay awake longer periods of time, we'll likely move to a smaller stroller. Is it worth buying the travel system for SIX measly months of use?

Granted, if we keep it for another child, we get more use...but...I just. don't. know.

So the red car seat is still sitting in it's box in the back seat of my car...and I will continue to ponder I guess...they have a 90 day return policy. I've got time to waffle.

Dreams, Pool Time, and Weight Gain

Now, I have heard that pregnancy can cause more vivid dreaming. I was a rather vivid dreamer before pregnancy, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Thus far, honestly, if anything, I have fewer vivid "crazy" dreams. They do still happen from time to time though.

Interestingly, for the past 2 weeks or so, I've started to be pregnant in my dreams. Even accurately so - to the right week. I guess I'm finally starting to accept the pregnancy as part of my identity?

*****

We used the pool in our apartment complex for the first time this past weekend. It was awesome. First of all, it has been warm, so it was nice to cool off, but secondly...it was my first time getting into a pool in my current "condition". I didn't feel pregnant! It felt like I had my old body back! Well...Until I started trying to move around, but just standing in the water...I felt about...25 pounds lighter.

*****

Which brings us to weight gain. At my last OB appointment, almost a month ago now, my weight gain was 22 lbs. It is all based on an estimate of my pre-preggo weight, because I don't know for sure...but it should be about right. I just got on the Wii Fit again this past weekend too, and if IT'S scale compares to the ones at the doctor's office...then I'm now about 25 lbs up. And I officially weigh more than Mr. Random. Sigh. I'm trying to not let it bother me...but it does. I mean...at this rate, we're looking at a 40 lbs weight gains or so. SIGH. MAJOR SIGH. I had thought I could be one of those lucky ones that would gain like, 20 lbs total, and then just SNAP back to shape. It's not looking that way. On the other hand, I had 0 vomiting so maybe I should just accept I'm lucky in that way, and realize that my weight gain isn't so outrageous, and that I'm probably just growing a really healthy baby. Which, is the most important part. I've just never been that good at losing weight...and I'd prefer to not carry an extra 20 lbs or so after this little experience. That's all. I know it's a small price to pay for a healthy little baby...I do. I'm happy to pay it if that's what it takes. It's just...it doesn't seem like it should. :)

Annoying Questions

So I'm now pretty obviously pregnant. Some shirts make it more obvious than others, but it's pretty clear. And upon observing my condition, many people ask this question: "are you excited?"

And it annoys the hell out of me.

Because I feel compelled and obligated to say YES! Oh yes I am! Couldn't be more thrilled. The trouble is, most days, I do not feel excited. I feel moments of excitement. And moments of total terror. I'd say the more common, overwhelming feeling is disbelief. I mean...I know, theoretically, that pregnancy can and must happen pretty regularly for us to be 6 billion strong and growing...but...it's like part of me never really grasped that yes, it would and could, and is happening to me. But rather than being excited all the time, I worry constantly over the complications this development will cause. Instead of daydreaming misty eyed in excitement.

And that makes me feel guilty. Like, somehow, I'm doing this baby an injustice. It's not at all that I don't want the baby...it's that I feel unprepared! Unnerved! And underqualified.

And everytime someone asked me "are you excited?" it brings up those feelings....and how they seem so out of line what what I "should" be feeling. :-/

Back online

Know what sucks more than having your internet stop working? Having it stop working when you're doing web-based programming for research due in less than a week. Yeah....thanks internet company!

So, apparently, they decided to no longer support our particular brand of modem...and didn't think it would be important or necessary to inform us of this decision.

Greaaat.

Bought a new modem for a hefty $80, but it works beautifully. Yay?

The Hoopla

So, I'm sure, by now, you've heard of the immigration bill in Arizona? And all the people on both sides rushing to either tear it down and hold it up? We've got cities boycotting Arizona, we've got states saying they're going to pass something similar, we've got polls saying the majority of Americans are in support of Arizona and we've got a very loud, vocal group against Arizona.

What is this? Our second civil war?

What have YOU done?

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain -it was a small one in Wa...but I think it counts
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Follow up on childbirth

So, there's these classes you take, right? To learn about the delivery and what to expect and different pain management options. And you're supposed to go with your support person. For me, this is Mr. Random.

Well, I've had a HELL of a time scheduling the damn thing. I'll be teaching in the evenings they offer these courses, and lately Mr. Random has been having to work Saturdays. We finally settled on a likely Saturday, for him to realize this past week that he has a mandatory work day that day, and the following Saturdays are likely to be "strongly encouraged".

So I called to see about re-scheduling (again) and asked if he would be able to just come to the last part, and the person said you have to have a partner, because of the positions and such. She said you could bring your mom or your sister and then he could step in, but you need someone else there.

And I nearly burst into tears! There's no one else. My mom and sisters live out of state, far, far away. My supposed friends that I would ask have been too busy to even call lately.

I'm all alone.

Childbirth

Ah yes. Now I've done got a baby growing inside, I will, at some point, have to get it out. I have mixed feelings about all of that. (a mixture of fear, excitement, concern, curiosity...shaken, not stirred)

I tend to swing hippie-granola. But not super crunchy granola...probably not organic granola...but a good soft granola for sure. Which means, I'd prefer to avoid The Drugs. I get mixed responses when I announce this - but the most common one, is an incredulous look followed by "you're crazy". The next most common reaction is a knowing look, a pat on the head, and a "whatever you say dear". Okay, people haven't literally done that, but I know they want to. They expect me to be SCREAMING for an epidural at my first Braxton Hicks. I truly appreciate their skepticism.

So seriously, I'd like to avoid The Drugs. And I'd REALLY like to avoid The Epidural. There are a number of reasons. First off, I don't take drugs in real life. I'm one of your weirdos that people think are Mormon because I seem so "clean" or something, but I'm not. I just try to avoid drugs...it just seems like if I can find other ways to manage a headache, then do that. Why ingest a synthetic substance my body doesn't need? (that being said, I was for a time on some pretty intense drugs for regular tension headaches...but I think that was a mistake - I went off the drugs, and with other methods, like massages and not being so damn stressed out, the headaches went away - miracle of miracles)

Okay, so Reason #1. I avoid drugs in real life. So you're argument, wouldn't you take a pill for a headache, not going to work. I generally don't. And I've had migraines yo. That's when I consider an ibuprofen. Reason #2 - the drugs will pass to the baby. Now, I suppose it's possible the baby wants to be drugged out of it's misery too...but what happens when it has to try to breath and learn to nurse? Maybe it'd like to be in full control of it's limited mental faculties to attempt these important life skills. Just a thought.

But the big reason, the ultimate why I want to avoid an Epidural: I fear it. I don't want someone poking things in my spine if it can be helped! And further, one of the most common side effects is a drop in blood pressure. I already run low, and have a history of passing out. In the middle of labor, probably not a good time to go swooning. (no, it's not as romantic as they make it seem in movies and old stories, it's actually really, really sucky)

So, that's it. I just think it'll be healthier for everyone if I can find a way to manage the pain of childbirth without drugs or epidurals. Despite this, I'm not saying absolutely no way, no how. I mean, I've never done this before. I have no real idea how it's going to go or how I'll handle it. So, my plan, thus far, is to go in with an open mind, attempt to manage the pain with other methods...but if it gets too much, it gets too much. And the ultimate goal here is that Random Jr. and I survive - preferably healthy and ready to go home 2 days later. If that means an epidural, then so be it. But I really hope it doesn't. :)

Religion

Touchy subject. One I've pondered off and on lately. I've a cousin who is LDS, and she's off on a mission. I'm having a baby - I think I want the little one baptized...but why?

I used to be VERY religious. Well, for awhile my family wasn't, then I got way motivated for my church, the Catholic Church, and was really religious. Then it started to fade...I became a non-practicing member...then I got married by a Lutheran pastor because we wanted to be married outside...and somewhere along the way I'd say I've transitioned to a non-practicing Lutheran. I just...fell out of love with the Catholic church. I guess that's how I'd describe it.

But I maintain that I've been spiritual the whole time. It's not been a question of not believing or having faith...it's been a question of not believing in Church.

There are a lot of things that go into this. An old boyfriend for whom it was overwhelmingly important that I "accept Christ into my heart, as my Saviour" or else I'd be damned for all eternity and clearly we couldn't date. I always had issue with the wording. What's with this, "accept" like it's a one time thing? You can have a moment of whatever, jump up, declare yourself SAVED, and you're in? I totally, 100% don't personally jive with that. I don't see it as a one-time thing, past tense, you're saved. I see it as a life-long relationship.

But I get more complicated...because in some ways I'm not even sure I swing Christian anymore. See, I'm all about striving to be more Christ-like in my behavior...but you can follow other religions and achieve that same outcome. Heaven help us, some of the absolutely rudest drivers I've seen have Christian stickers on their back windows.

And there's the mission thing. I really DON'T believe that people have to follow one religion to "got to heaven", reach nirvana, not burn in hell. Whatever you want to call it. I feel like there a ton of different religions, because there are a ton of different people. Just like we all have different taste in music and food, we'll have different tastes in pondering the Great Beyond. There's no one-size fits all here. And, honestly, I think that's as God intended it. Else he'd have made us all a lot more alike.

And truthfully, it seems MOST religions tend to agree on major points. If you get past all the distracting details about names and number of Gods and such. But then, I'm not Christian if I think that am I? I don't know.

Yet I still want Random Jr. to be baptized. As a baby. Probably in the Lutheran Church. Why? Catholic upbringing? Seems like the right thing? I have no idea, it just is something I think we should do.

Lots to ponder still...

Maternity Pillows

Have you ever tried one of those things? I don't get them.

Mr. Random was so sweet and surprised me one day recently by buying me one (and ice cream). Totally out of the blue! He told me he didn't know anything about them, so he bought the most expensive one. :) It was by Boppy and it really seemed great...but I couldn't work out how to turn over with it, without completely waking up trying to re-arrange the thing, while fighting the covers which were trying desperately to pin me and the pillow down. We wound up returning it. I have a nest system with about 4 pillows going that works fairly well...I really liked the concept of the maternity pillow but it wasn't at all worth the fight to turn over when I turn probably 10 times a night (I'm guessing).

Maybe I was doing it wrong?

I'm Baaaacckkkk

For serious, I think I am. I'm feeling the regular blog-post mojo flowing again. For a long time I wasn't feeling it (OBVIOUSLY) and I think it's because I got out of my collecting habit. Like, in everything. We moved to the new apartment and I was getting rid of stuff I've held onto for 10 years or more. There just wasn't room. And somehow that new found freedom crept over into my blogging habits too. I really meant it when I described this as a place to "collect" my thoughts, apparently.

Well, I'm back to collecting them.

And what better place to start than a rant on my favorite topic to rant about: traffic. It seriously is the one common thing in my life that consistently gets my panties in a bunch. Ruffles my feathers. Seriously PISSES ME OFF. It may be that there is a disproportionately large number of bad drivers here in Phoenix, but I have a new theory. And it's that we ever let the "me-generation" behind the wheel.

Because, while feeling special and unique and "mommy loves you most" all the time might (but I doubt it) help you in other parts of daily life, it does NOT, in any way, help you or anyone else with driving. It will be Mr. Random's job to teach our young how to drive. And I find myself hoping that he teaches them, not to be safe drivers, but to drive like intelligent human beings. Because NO ONE does, but maybe if we start with our offspring, we'll have made the world a better place. But back to my theory - you see, the problem is, that everyone drives selfishly, like they're God's gift and everyone should flow around him. And God love us, we try. But if, INSTEAD, everyone, for one moment, focused on the good of the many, instead of the good of themselves, and just tried to focus on keeping a maximum efficient flow, we'd ALL WIN.

Don't fear, I'm part of this me-generation, and while I'm comfortably assured of my special specialness in other parts of my life, I like to think I'm part of the many when it comes to driving. As in, what's good for most drivers, will also benefit me. That's why I leave a gap when you're trying to merge into my lane - you're welcome. That's why I match whatever redonkulous speed you're driving in the left lane when I'm in the left lane because it becomes the exit lane...which will cause you to promptly slam on your brakes to try to re-enter the lane to your right when you figure it out at the last possible frickin second - never mind that there was signage for 3 miles prior to that point.

Maybe it's the geoscientist in me, but if we all just treated freeways and roadways like what they are - flow networks - and tried our hardest to not impede the general flow...we'd all get home a lot sooner.

And finally, for the surface streets: to you idiots that INSIST on crossing in the middle of the road, when there's a perfectly good cross walk a quarter mile or less down the road. I no longer have sympathy. I used to feel guilty when I didn't stop for you. No longer. I stopped for one of you today. And it was wrong of me to do so. I quickly figured it out. Why? Because I stopped the fricking flow of the road, and the good of the many, for your sorry ass. And you didn't even appreciate it. From now on, when I see such a sorry person standing in the suicide lane no where near a cross walk, I am not stopping. And I am no longer feeling bad about it. Not even when you drag your young out there with you. Darwin my friends. Darwin.