I've been falling behind on my frequent updates! Life gets busy and blogs get neglected I guess.
I've had about 3 different ideas for blog posts...but just haven't sat down to write them out. So instead, I think I'll just make a grab bag post that includes brief snippets about all the random things I've been thinking lately.
I just found out this morning that one of my fellow students (she's in a different department, but at the same school) is ALSO expecting a baby! I don't know any details beyond that but am dying of curiosity. I'd been wondering if she wasn't just because I'm weird like that but I also happened to know that she and her husband were "seeing what would happen" for about 6ish months, depending on when she's due. Which I DON'T know yet! But, my guess is she's probably a week or 2 ahead of me...
I haven't told any grad school friends yet. And oddly, I'm really glad. I'm probably meeting with this student later to chat - we're friendly but not best friends so it's been awhile - and I have no plans to tell her my news. I just want to let her be ecstatic and have some sick twisted satisfaction knowing that when we do announce more broadly she'll be all, what the hell!? But then probably glad that I didn't try to share her limelight. Is that weird?
One of my best good friends is having some marital troubles. They're not anything new and I don't think they'll be marriage-ending for this couple, but they are somewhat serious. The fact that they keep coming up shows they're a real problem for the wife and that nothing's being addressed. She talked to me recently about it and I tried my best to be helpful and insightful...but the trouble is what I think the true root of the problem is, is something I don't feel I can say without damaging our friendship. I'm not sure how best to approach that. The other issue is, that the friend usually concludes that if only the husband will fix his issues, she'll be happier. I have tried to counter this logic because I disagree philosophically, but it has not changed her conclusion over the few years it's been coming up. So what is the root of the problem? Truthfully, I think it's a lack of respect. And maybe I should tell her. She doesn't respect her husband as an equal. But you know...she knows that! She knows she doesn't respect him...but she thinks it's up to him to man up, change, and become someone she can respect. Also, she feels that she's spent the past x years of their marriage "fixing" him and his problems, and she's tired of it.
This is just all so philosophically different from how I approach my own marriage, I'm kind of at a loss to help her. I do not believe you can "fix" someone. I also do not believe you should marry with the intent to "fix" someone. So, my marriage advice to my unborn baby is this:
Marry/Life Partner with someone you Respect. As an equal. And someone you respect today - not someone you see the potential to respect in the future after some "fixing". Because...you can't "fix" people. People will change, but you do not control how.
That is all.
Love is important too of course, but Respect. It's critical. **stepping off soap box**
I feel ridiculous, because I'm only 11 weeks this week, but my clothes are getting TIGHT! It seems too early for me to be showing, but I look down and there it is. An unmistakable bump. It probably looks like pudge to anyone who doesn't know, but it's not! Well, there's a bit over it sure, but it's mostly a baby bump! What is this? I thought first time pregnant women didn't show until AFTER 12 weeks! AND. Heartburn? Already? 3 times this has happened in the past week...3 times...and I pretty much NEVER got it before. Isn't that supposed to come later too? I can't complain too much as I've gotten off pretty much scott free in the vomiting category...well, not pretty much, I HAVE gotten off with 0 vomiting so far. But, still...I feel like I'm making it up...but the fact is, I can't wear one pair of jeans already. Not buttoned anyway. Maybe it's because I'm short? I read somewhere that short women show more...and most of my diminutive height is my legs! I have a short torso even for my short body...I'm ready to believe that's a factor.