Like a High Tension Powerline

Do you hear that incessant noise? That buzzing? It sounds like a high tension power-line and is loud enough that I hear it any time I venture within 5 feet of a window? (because heaven help me, I do try not to venture outside)

What is it!? When I first heard it a few weeks ago at the start of "summer" (ie, the HOT weather) I was puzzled. Had that buzzing always been there? Then I remembered. It's the cicadas. It's bugs! That makes this amazingly loud buzzing sound. I don't know why they make this sound. I don't know how, but imagine it involves their wings. I haven't felt like googling to find out. (which is very unlike me)

The buzzing had gotten louder as the summer has dragged on. (where are our monsoon storms!?) And one night, we even had one of the little buggers on our balcony! One of our kitties found it immensely entertaining to play with. And a little frightening I think, but she mostly had fun. :)

**okay, I googled. It's not their wings. The males have some anatomical feature called a timbal that they vibrate. And apparently this noise is called a song and is distinctive. Uh huh. "song". Further, many peoples eat these critters. Yummmm.

This is good

As I was peeing for 197,468th time yesterday, my mind wandered into some interesting reflection. I realized that I finally feel like I'm becoming who I want to be. I like who I am, and I like who I am becoming. That's a wonderful feeling!

Seriously. I've spent many years with self-loathing. A sense that I'm not good enough, or other negative feelings toward myself. What a waste of energy! And so not healthy. And definitely not something I would want to pass onto Random Jr.

So I'm quite glad, that before Random Jr.'s arrival, I seem to have worked out this critical mental state...and truly have come to like myself. And to be comfortable being me.

Heat, Heat, and More Heat

It has been HOT here. Really hot. Melt into a puddle the second you walk outside hot. And while last summer I managed the heat quite well...this summer...is not working out so well. If I have to drive ANYWHERE, and get back into my car after leaving it for...5 minutes or more in direct sun...it's all over. I'm sweaty. Miserable. Overheating. Yuck!

I used to be the one who could have "icy feet of death" even when it was 115 out. Even when we kept our thermostat at 82 or 80 at night (too warm for sleeping comfortable, but much kinder on the wallet!).

No longer!

And with all this heat, not a single monsoon storm! It's the saving grace of summer here in southern Arizona...but sadly, here we are, mid-July and not a storm to ease the monotony of repressive, overwhelming, squeltering hot summer. Sigh.

Coincidence?

I'm due in August. The end of August. Which basically puts me smack dab in the middle of "baby season". I've read from multiple sources that July, August, and September are the most common months to give birth. Yay for fitting in?

Anyway, most explanations I've seen for this phenomenon cite the weather "9 months" prior to this magical season of the year - suggesting that it's cold, dreary, and boring...so people have sex. And, ta da!, we have a baby boom in July, August, and September every year. Maybe. I'd be curious to see if the "baby season" is in the opposite time of the year in the southern hemisphere though.

I have another theory to offer forth. You see, there are distinct advantages to being in the third trimester during the summer season. Yes, even in the Arizona desert! (believe me, it's hot and miserable) But there are advantages. For one thing, fresh fruit is readily available and close to affordable during the summer seasons! I credit my high intake of fresh fruit with combating constipation. Supposedly a common third trimester symptom...not something I've had to suffer yet (thankfully!). Further, while my feet are certainly swelling, spreading and otherwise difficult to cram into shoes (and further more, just finding my feet around this belly to cram into shoes is enough of a challenge!) it's summer, so I don't have to worry about it. I have a wide array of flip flops that get the job done, and Bonus! can be put on without bending over or otherwise contorting myself. The pool is open in the summer. And swimming while heavily pregnant, is fantastic. It's a good time. I feel like there were more benefits, but that's what I can come up with currently. So, with all these benefits to being heavily pregnant in the summer...is it really a coincidence that that's when most women find themselves in such a condition? Is it because they're bored and cold in the winter 10 months before? Or is it because our bodies know, biologically speaking, that being heavily pregnant in the summer, while a disadvantage from the heat stand point, will actually work out pretty well for us in the end...and consequently, we're more fertile in the winter months? I think some serious study needs to be made into this area.

Well that was unexpected

Awhile ago I blogged about tough decisions, regarding whether or not to do a certain milestone required for my PhD program this summer. I personally came to the decision I would prefer to wait. I was concerned how my advisor would take it as she'd been pushing so hard for me to do it now. Surprisingly, she was fine with my decision. And said it was always my decision.

huh.

Well, I feel pretty good about the whole thing now. Because I feel I gave it an honest thought (never got so far as effort, really) and it just wasn't right. Which is fine. It's not like I just slacked or something. Anyway, so good news on that front!

Teaching is ALMOST done! I cannot wait. Seriously. I'm ready to finally reach summer!

Baby Names

We're struggling a bit in the baby name department. Oh sure, we have a list. But nothing really settled on. Which is fine...I'm good with waiting until we know if it's a boy or girl and see the little one's face to settle on something for sure. But one of my big struggles is that my personal top girl and boy name, are just about everyone else's favorites too. Aiden. And Isabelle. Sigh. LOVE those names. I've loved them for years actually - I'm a weird one about names, and have been "collecting" names and thinking about them for a long time. I used to (as in, when I was about 12 I think) like the idea of twin girls named Alizabeth and Aeryn. (I was 12!) But I mean...I've thought about names since then or before. And in recent years, had kind of settled in my heart on Aiden for a boy and Isabelle for a girl. And I could call the girl Bella, which means beautiful, and it's so perfect. And if we have a girl, she was basically implanting when we were in Rome at Christmastime, so it's even MORE perfect! (because they actually say Bella there)

But then...Twilight had to happen. Damn those books! I read them. I enjoyed them at first pass. And then I thought about the relationship being presented, how unhealthy it was, and started to not like them as much. For a trashy guilty pleasure for ADULTS who realize that it's trashy and not healthy, fine. Enjoy yourselves! For the preteens just starting to define their ideas of love that the books are marketed too....not so much. You're giving these young women serious issues by letting them see these screwed up relationships and thinking they're "ideal" or "perfect" or something. But I digress.

The problem is, now everyone and their sister is naming their little girl Isabella. Or Bella. Or Isabelle. That was MY name people! BEFORE the damn books!

I don't even know what triggered the Aiden phenomenon. But it seems like every little boy I know is either named Aiden, has a brother named Aiden, or their names rhyme with Aiden. Sigh.

So, who cares? Just name my kid what I want? I guess.....it's just. My name isn't common. And I always liked that. So I thought I would like to give my kid a nice, but somewhat uncommon name. Which, believe me, at the time I settled on these names, they WERE. But then I think...I was never very socially popular. In fact, I often tried (like I needed to try) to stand out from the crowd and be different. Was that nature? Nurture from my oddball parents? Or did it have something to do with my uncommon first name? I mean, the Matts, Tiffanies, Jennifers, and Sarahs I knew were pretty much always popular. Was that because their names were popular? So, is it possible, that by giving my kid a popular name...they'll overcome their mother's social awkwardness and be popular themselves? Would I want them to be? What if being popular means they no longer relate to me? Have I gone way too far off course yet in this baby name maze? I think so.

But it's what I'm pondering currently. Baby brain much?

Bags are Packed!

We packed the hospital bags this past weekend. I still need to make playlists of relaxing music on the laptop...but the essentials are in 2 suitcases sitting ready by the front door. Mr. Random was the big push to get those done. Took us out shopping to get snacks and anything else I thought I needed. It was nice having him being the more concerned and responsible party. He often is...so it's not like it was that out of character, but it was still nice. :)

We have one rolly suitcase full of just snacks and drinks. AWESOME. :) The other suitcase has clothes for me...clothes for Baby (boy and girl, both new born and the next size up, in case this one's a chunker)...some entertainment items (movies...mad libs...hmm...maybe I should grab a book?)...toiletries like toothbrush, toothpaste, extra contact lenses, etc., and an aromatherapy bulb with lavender that plugs into the wall. Oh, also a rice sock for comfort/pain management.

I can't believe there's approximately 7 weeks to go!

Team Green

We do not know the sex of Random Junior. We know that he or she is an active little thing and sometimes call him/her NinjaBaby...but we do not know the he/she part. Several of our friends and family are peeved by this...not in a, you HAVE to find out inappropriate way, more in a....you're going to make me wait until he/she's born whining kind of way. Which is fine. They're impatient to know.

Truthfully, I am to some extent too. But Mr. Random is enjoying the anticipation fully. I'm usually all about anticipation of something. And for the most part, I'm enjoying this too...but not entirely. Planning has been a little more difficult. And I feel like I should KNOW. They say mother's are right something like 72% of the time if they guess the sex before it's revealed to them. Well shoot, that's better than the 50/50% odds you should have! And for the first 20 or so weeks, I was pretty sure this little one was a girl. Then I was marginally less sure...and then at 28 weeks we saw a 3d ultrasound that showed the little one's face. Complete with that looks like Daddy's nose. Seeing that...I started thinking boy more. But truthfully, I just feel like I have no idea.

Mr. Random likes to ask me each day if it's a boy or a girl. I just don't know!

Perhaps the most amusing part is when strangers offer their approval. People love pregnant women, and become much friendlier when you're an obvious carrier of the baby bump. I can't recall how many times I've had a stranger ask when I'm due and what I'm having. When I tell them it's a surprise, they almost all say "good for you!" with great feeling. Really? Thanks for your approval I guess...