Traveling with ze Baby

I realized the other day that I never shared one of my more recent adventures.  I traveled with Wiggles to a conference where I presented a paper.  The trip up was uneventful - standard plane ride and the baby was pretty well behaved.  He didn't sleep at all mind you.  Not in the airport.  Not on the plane.  But we made it and no one gave me the stink eye that I saw and he eventually got a nap at the hotel.

The next few days, again, uneventful.  Finally, comes the morning to head back home.  We get dropped off at the airport with just enough time for me to grab some lunch and find a quiet corner to eat it.  I appeased Wiggles by feeding him puffs between feeding myself my food.  We were both fed and happy, hit the restroom one last time for me and a diaper change for the baby, and hit our gate about 10 minutes before boarding should start.  I was feeling AWESOME.  It was definitely too good to last.

Around the time our flight was scheduled to depart we finally get an announcement in the gate to sit back down...there's a mechanical problem and it'll be at least 15 more minutes.  The short version of this story is that ultimately the plane was determined to have a bigger problem and wouldn't be leaving for at least 7 more hours.  Now.  At this point I'd been in the airport for roughly 2 hours and had timed the flight to coincide with Wiggles' nursing schedule.  So I'm nursing the little guy when this announcement is made and everyone rushes to the customer service kiosk to get on the next flight out.  Maybe other mothers are superwomen...but I can't just pack up mid-breastfeeding and find my way to the line that fast.

Oh the despair as I looked at that line and contemplated another 7 hours in the airport followed by a roughly 3 hour flight.

Ultimately...that's what happened.

Wiggles and I got the great fun of spending 10 hours in the airport, followed by a 3 hour flight before getting home that day.  You know what though?  My son is a Trooper.  He was so good the whole day.  Again, he didn't really sleep mind you.  He did manage 3 20 minute naps throughout the entirety of the 13 hour adventure...which is certainly not enough and he was definitely deliriously tired when we finally made it home. But - we made it.  And it was definitely a bonding experience.

Even if the anxiety from the whole event caused me to cancel a planned trip for the month following.  Mr. Random, Wiggles and I were supposed to fly back home to visit some folks and attend a wedding and I was seriously losing sleep with anxiety at the idea.  I mean - it went fine enough, but it is definitely NOT an experience I want to repeat.  And definitely not so soon.

I did get comped a $300 credit for my troubles.  It didn't seem like enough then.  It still doesn't now.  I feel the anxiety coming back just reliving the day, so that's all I'm going to say about that!

Ah Family

So - as I was warned and am personally noticing - families get a little crazy when a new baby is on the way. Especially when said baby is the first grandbaby for either side. It sure makes life interesting.

For instance....

So, we live here in the southwest. And about 98% of our family (both sides) still reside in the Pacific Northwest. All over, the Pacific Northwest, but pretty much within about 7 hours of each other all around. Now - my family have expressed interest in visiting after Random Jr. is born...and we're good with this. We've asked they wait until after mid-September so that we know we'll get the first week to figure out stuff ourselves, but after that, all family are welcome to visit to meet the baby. So far....just my family are taking us up on this. Others don't have the time/money/it's too hot. That's fine. (well, the first 2...the last one is a bit lame, but alrighty)

So, in light of this, we've been saving every month so that we can afford to fly up for about 10 days around Thanksgiving. Have I mentioned yet that money is going to be very tight these next 5 months? Because it is. I'm not working. (thank you dept.) And, well...it's do-able, but it'll be tight. Yet, we're scrimping and saving so that we can fly up. Honestly, I think this is pretty damn nice of us...to not only spend OUR money, but also to attempt flying with a 2 month old, so that THEY can meet said 2 month old.

And don't get me wrong, everyone's expressing excitement. But...the drama...it's already beginning. Sigh.

Let's introduce the players...I have a large family. They live in one part of the state. Mr. Random has a large collection of extended family and his mother about 3 hours north of this. His father lives about 5 hours away, across mountains. The rest of my extended family about 2 hours further than that, also across the mountains. And...we thought we'd go at Thanksgiving, because Mr. Random gets that Thursday and Friday off, meaning we need fewer vacation days to stay longer.

Now, in discussing ideas for the trip...not plans, we're no where near plans yet, with my mother...I brought up the idea of trying to get both sides of the family in one location for a big bang out Thanksgiving. Plus, it would make it easier on us, so we don't end up driving all across the state, spending 2 days here there and everywhere so everyone can meet Random Junior. I thought this seemed reasonable...I mean, we're spending hard-saved cash to fly up...they only have to drive several hours depending on where we do this - everyone wins!

Well...not quite. Mr. Random's dad doesn't do Thanksgiving...and well, it'd be awkward for his mom and dad to be at the same event anyway. They were fine with each other at our wedding...but, it's just not going to happen. Okay, so we do Thanksgiving with his mom and extendeds, my family and extendeds...then go for a few days to Papa Random's...see our friends that also live in that area. Call it a good trip!

Well...not so fast. See, where would we have this big shindig? My parents house is kind of small, and definitely doesn't have the room for anyone to stay the night...it'll be tight fitting us in with the baby. It seems unfair to me to make all of Mr. Random's family get hotel rooms...when we could do the shindig at his mom's overly large house, that has quite a bit of room for my family to stay, and all his extendeds live nearby, and wouldn't need the room OR a hotel. Makes sense right?

Well, my parents aren't overly keen on the idea. (I think it's because they're homebodies and it puts them out of their comfort zone) Immediately, they start going on about the weather and how it's likely to snow and we won't be able to do our plans. Uh huh. Well...it MAY snow. Sure. But we're supposed to what? Not plan on seeing anyone just in case? Should we come next spring then? And if the alternative is we're driving all around the state to see everyone individually...well how's that help the snow situation?

Then I find out my extendeds INSIST on having Thanksgiving at home. Which is fine, it'd be a 7 hour drive for them.

Meanwhile, we floated the idea past Mr. Random's mom of having a big shindig at her house to see if she was open to it. Not only is she open to it, she now has her heart set on it. So we've got Mama Random's heart set on having nearly everyone to her house for a big Thanksgiving dinner. My parents predicting doom and gloom for driving conditions. My extendeds insisting on not coming...and everyone still "so excited" to see us when we come visit.

Ah yes. Meanwhile, the more we have to drive around to see everyone, the more this trip will cost us - as we'll be putting a lot of gas into a rental car. Sigh.

The kid's not even born yet, but it's already begun.

These dramas are part of the reason Mr. Random likes living 1,000 miles away. And doesn't want to move back too close. And yet, in some ways, if we lived closer (close enough to drive, not fly let's say) it seems like it might be less drama. Plus, then we might be able to break it up and see family in different parts of the state in a few separate trips. Instead of trying to do a grand tour.

Anyway, I am still looking forward to the trip. It'll likely be exhausting and mildly stressful. But I think it'll be fun too.

And we can't forget Rome

Furthering the wrapping up of lose ends, I want to say some things about Rome. I won't be able to say enough.

Firstly, the trip was, I think, everything we hoped for and more. It. was. Awesome. And amazing. And wonderful. And we can't wait to go back. :) My MIL is worldy and has traveled to some 80 countries and has been less than enthralled with my raptures of Rome. She kind of shrugs and is like, sure, but there are SO many better places. That may be. But Rome was our first taste of Europe and will probably therefore always hold a special place in our hearts. And I don't care how worldly you are, Rome is cool!

Mostly, I felt like I needed more eyes. There was art, EVERYWHERE. Especially in the Vatican. It's on the floor, the walls, the ceilings - EVERYTHING is covered with art or embellishment. I loved the cobblestone streets. I dearly wanted a cobblestone for a souvenir but did not take one (integrity or fear of airport security or something stayed my hand).

We got lost our first day, which was fine. We took off from the hotel with a map in hand and a "route" planned. We thought we were following this route, but quickly realized we had no idea where we were. Eventually we found our way to the Coliseum. How about that?

We learned some Italian. Bonjourno for good morning, hello, we learned before. But you say Buena Sera for Good Evening. I thought it was Buena Notte (thanks a lot Italian Podcast! leading me astray...) And Grazie for thank you, and Prego means, no problem. Anana is pineapple and arancia is orange. And Farmacia is the pharmacy. Which we visited. Twice.

I got sick the first full day we were there! Sniffles at first, and then a sore throat (first trip - found the arancia flavored with vitamin C cough drops all by myself, thanks!), and then just miserable sinus congestion and general sickie (second trip, had to mime nasal congestion and drainage to get the right stuff, fun though).

But we didn't let a little thing like a cold slow us down. We walked EVERYWHERE. And still didn't see all we wanted to see. We covered at least 8 miles a day ( we Google Mapped it to measure our routes later (we started recording our routes on the maps provided by the hotel to document them). We saw the Pope - which was cool, even if I'm no longer a practicing Catholic. *gasp! I know...sorry Grammy!*

It was just wonderful. Despite getting sick I have no complaints. I'd go back in a heartbeat. We both feel sad that we can't just jaunt out and down to the Spanish Steps. And the pizza. How I miss the pizza! And seeing Sbarro in the airport on our way back made me laugh...and then sob a little. "Italian" pizza you say? No...I know better. You are nothing like the real thing. Because, first of all, they don't serve it in rounds cut into slices. So...you're missing the point there.

Anyway, I took 1462 pictures. I ate pizza for lunch, ever. single. day. Yes, it was wonderful. I had spaghetti twice (b/c the first time tasted like American spaghetti WE make and I was CONVINCED there had to be something better - there was). And we threw a coin into the Trevi fountain, backwards over the opposite shoulder like you're supposed to...so hopefully we'll be going back sometime.

Murphy

I should have known it was too good to be true. It feels like I should have realized that good things just aren't for us. Happiness, seizing the moment is not our path. Sigh.

It may still be, but things keep coming up that may cancel the trip. And those tickets we bought at such an amazing price? Non-refundable. Yeah.

So, Mr. Man got a jury summons for a grand jury, that starts a month before the trip. Mmhmm. Those usually take a LONG time from the information I can find out. He's going to call on Monday to see what will happen with that. First of all, we can't afford for him to lose a month or more of his income, and second...we have tickets to Rome!!

Then, today I hear word that British Airways (the airline we're flying) may be striking at Christmas...thus canceling, delaying and otherwise messing up flights. Sigh. I'm seriously hoping if they do that they do it AT christmas. As in, after we get back.

I realize there are bigger issues in the world that should upset me. And I understand the BA workers need fair contracts etc. But, seriously? I had been so excited and now I mostly feel stressed. It would have been nice if the excitement could have lasted at least a week. One week. That was too much to ask?

Despite appearances, we really are broke

Now, I've heard this a lot, even from members in my own extended family. And I think it's common. We all think we're lower middle-class...even if some of us really are much higher in that rather broad category than others. Whatever.

In our case though, it's true! More or less...I mean, if you take our monthly income and then subtract our bills, and then subtract our food and misc. expenses (which we've really tried to cut back on) you end up with a negative number. Like, $737 negative. That's a lot. And so we've taken out loans. Student loans, which is nice, but a LOT in loans. And we're making ends meet with that. And managing to buy a new car. And go to Rome.

Yup. Amazing isn't it? Rome, Italy for 3 full days right before Christmas of this year. We've already bought our plane tickets. And, for the most part, I'm just really excited. Mr. Man remarked at one point that it really took him getting fired for us to do this, and was noting the irony. When he had the old job we actually would have had enough money to swing such a DREAM of a vacation. But we never would have and did not while he was employed there. Why? 2 reasons, really. 1. it was impossible for him to get the time off. and 2. we were so worried about being responsible and doing the right thing and planning for our future and honestly, between socking money away for retirement, babies, rainy days, etc. you have very little left that is expendable. I say that as if we had socked money away for those things, when in fact we did not. We did sock some away...but not much, and not enough to cover any of those 3 categories.

So, what's different now that we're broke? I think we realized that there has to be balance. Yeah, you should be responsible (considering we're still paying our bills, I think we are) and debt sucks. Duh. But at the same time, what's the point of always saving, and never taking that dream trip...if all you have to show at the end is a lot of money in your bank account? Sure, that equals security and I do want to feel secure. But I also don't want to miss out on living. I've said it many times while in school, I'm tired of waiting for my life to begin. Well, at some point in the last year, we realized that's just a mindset. We're living our lives every day. So stop waiting, and start living.

And, we're realizing that even though we've done everything more or less right, we're still getting screwed by things beyond our control (the economy). I mean, we did all the research, we got a vanilla 30-yr fixed loan with a large and dependable bank...and now we're stuck in a house that is worth literally half what we owe on it with very few options. How is any of that our fault? It's not. That's the thing. It's not our fault, but it is our lot and we're stuck with it. So, even though you can do everything right, you can still get screwed over. Therefore...we're less concerned with doing everything right and more concerned with seizing opportunities and living life as it comes. Being responsible too, but really living for the present and enjoying what we do have.

And so we're going to Rome. It will be funded entirely by student loans (I just accepted an extra loan for spring that should cover the trip). And really, I feel good about it. I feel like it's the "right" thing and the "right" choice, amazingly enough. And...we always said we wanted to travel to Europe before having kids. Now we can. I think that may end up being important for our future happiness, so I'm glad we got the opportunity and seized it.

Besides, I feel it should be noted that we got an amazing deal. We're both flying round trip for less than a normal single round trip fair. Can't really beat that! It's like buy one get one free! We'll have 3 full days in Rome and part of a day in London (due to a LOOOONG lay-over). I think it's going to be Awesome.