Thursday, December 2, 2010

Timing is Everything

It's funny how people are always looking toward the next "big thing."  When you start dating someone, they want to know if it's serious.  Once you're serious, they want to know when you're getting married.  At the wedding they're asking when you'll have kids.  At the birth of your first they'll ask when you're having another.

While it feels slightly crazy at this point to even consider another child (can I get at least 1 good night of sleep first?) it is something we've talked a bit about, however briefly.  It gets a little tricky figuring out the timing.

Before we were even married Mr. Random and I talked about how many kids we each wanted - and we both were and still are in the 2-3 camp.  It wasn't until after we were married I had the good sense to ask him how close together he wanted these 2-3 children.  He casually said that he thought about a year apart.  !!!  Do you know how long it takes to gestate a baby?!  I exclaimed.  He just smiled sheepishly.  While he understood my apprehension, he still felt it'd be better to have kids closer together than further apart.  And, I admittedly did not and still don't have a solid number in mind as the "ideal" spacing between kids.  I have seen sibling rivalry be terribly heated at certain intervals, and I've also seen kids with the same age interval be super close.  So basically, I don't know what the right interval is, but I can guarantee you that I do not feel ready to get knocked up again - and we'd be needing to right around now in order to go with Mr. Random's 1-year-apart plan.  Luckily, Mr. Random also understands my reluctance at this point and is not in any way pushing it.

Which brings us to the timing.  If not now, then when?  Well, the tricky part is figuring out when to have another without (further) derailing my career.  I still think that having babies while in grad school makes a lot of sense.  My schedule will probably never be this flexible again, and the demands on my time and abilities should only be escalating from here on out.  Publish or Perish!  And get tenure.  And what not.  Now, my plan is to graduate in Spring 2013.  Which I really think is do-able.  So, with that in mind, and the afore-mentioned desire to make babies during grad school if at all possible, the idea is that we should get knocked up June 2012 (cuz you know it's just that simple, right? - I kid) so that baby #2 comes around February 2013...and I'll defend my dissertation say January 2013 (you know, hugely pregnant because...well, that'll rock) and then have the rest of the spring semester and the summer to enjoy baby (struggle through the sleep-deprivation of the early months) before starting my new job (fingers crossed!) Fall 2013.  It's brilliant.  I think.  Anyway, that's kind of the current idea of things...but we'll see what happens between now and then.  :)

1 comment:

  1. Thought I left a comment yesterday, but didn't seem to work? I just found your blog (through Mom, PhD) and was smiling at this post. I have a fourteen month old and am trying to plan the next baby in the right stage of the career. Hoping to finish up this spring. After the first I decided to wait until the dissertation is almost complete before adding a second. Enjoying your blog!


About this Blog

I have a journal. You know, the real kind...paper, bound in a book form...nice leather cover. And I do write in it...every few months. I like it, but somehow I find it hard to keep up regularly. I'm at a computer nearly all the time, so I find it easier to keep up on this blog. So, that's what this blog is for. To help me journal when I'm away from my journal. A place to collect my thoughts before I lose them to the chaos of my mind.

Or see my first post here. That's why I started this blog.