There are many things that make me grumpy, but one in particular quite pertinent to this time in my life. You see, I just had a baby 3 weeks ago. I gave birth to this baby completely drug free, despite the hospital setting. That's right...no pain killers. Not even an ibuprofen. (what's up!) I think it's fair to say I'm proud of this accomplishment...though immediately afterward I thought it may have been the dumbest thing I'd ever done. At any rate, the birth was painful, the recovery, also painful. Most people would expect as much.
Not, apparently, my sister. 2 weeks after giving birth my family came to visit and meet the baby. Which was great. But the first day they were here, as I was quietly breastfeeding the little one, my sister comes back to the room I'm in. Sits down ever so tenderly on the bed. Looks at me with a grimace and tells me with a slight groan...she has cramps.
Seriously? No, SERIOUSLY?
Yup, she has menstrual cramps and is expecting pity. Sympathy. Concern. And an ibuprofen. Could I get her one?
She wants all this from a women who just 2 weeks ago gave birth without any drugs. I found it rather difficult to be sympathetic and instead just felt rather grumpy. But I did get her an ibuprofen.
My friend just had a baby not that long ago and when she was pregnant, she said we were NOT allowed to complain about cramps, bleeding or anything woman related and that AFTER she had the baby, she'd let us know when it was time to resume complaining. Ha!
ReplyDeleteA very famous person once said (honestly, he did, I just don't remember who it was that said it). Pain is unavoidable but suffering is optional. Just thought that might apply in this case.
ReplyDelete1. You don't get a Nobel Prize for unmedicated childbirth. BTDT.
ReplyDelete2. I've had menstrual cramps that were much worse than childbirth.
I know hey? Dude comes in complaining with a broken arm. I'm all like, man, what are you moaning about? I broke my femur! Some people are such whiners.
ReplyDeleteWhen you were in pain before you had your child, did you always think "wow, that hurts, but I'm okay, I'm fine, because I know one day when I have a child, it's going to hurt waaay more!". No, most people think more along the lines of "gimme an ibuprofen now!". Pain is relative. Looks like you, not your sister, is the one lacking perspective here. You already had your sympathy party. It doesn't last the rest of your life.
Wow. The commenters here are real douchebags :(
ReplyDeleteDudes, what's up? read the post again. It's not titled "Things that fill me with unmitigated amounts rage because they are utterly unjustifiable to my world view." it's not "Stupid things my sister has said because she is horrible, bad and wrong." It's not "How people have wronged me following my natural and better-than-yours childbirth".... it's "Things that make me grumpy."
And I would think that, perhaps, especially in the still fresh and vivid aftermath of childbirth, one's sister coming up to you and making fuss over her own menstrual cramps. NO, it's not "oh I have cramps'.. read again, the way the author has portrayed the situation is not a casual offhand remark, but a clearly stated expression designed to seek sympathy. My sister does the same thing. I've never seen her cramps be so bad as to stop her from doing, or enjoying something she really wanted to do.... but when at home, or when something she doesn't want to do comes up, the cramps are unending and terrible. She's the youngest, and I'm her big sister, so she expects a degree of sympathy from me and she typically gets it, and that situation is what I see right here now also.
Geeze guys. The author isn't expecting the Nobel peace prize for giving birth.. She's simply expressing a bit of grumpiness over something she's perfectly untitled to be grumpy about.
I came over from Dr. Grumpy's Grand Rounds and you're much tougher than I am. Did you by any chance punch your sister in her uterus to see if it helped her cramps at all? 'Cause I might have been tempted to. :)
ReplyDeleteI would not have gotten her the medication - but I would have told her where it was so she could get it herself. But the question that immediately pops to my mind - has she ever had a baby???? If not, then she probably thinks it is exactly like all the media portray it - have a baby and as soon as it is born, you are immediately back to the shape you were in before you were pregnant....
ReplyDeleteUm, seriously? Just because it was your CHOICE to go without pain meds doesn't mean everyone else has to... whether that's for childbirth or a stubbed toe. Sheesh. Frankly, you don't deserve a medal or even a pat on the back either for going without pain meds. Again, YOUR CHOICE.
ReplyDeleteActually, you deserve a pat on the back and a medal. Unmedicated childbirth is a BIG deal and hard to do especially when you're in the constraints of a hospital situation. There is also scads of evidence that's it's quantitatively better for both baby and mom. Healing from birth is also a big deal, and often takes way longer than 2 weeks. I totally understand your grumpiness with your sister even though I've had some pretty gnarly menstrual cramps myself. I'm of the belief that regardless of how you give birth being a parent is hard work- offers of support and assistance are good and requests for ANYTHING should be made to someone who is not providing complete physical and nutritional support for a helpless squirming infant.
ReplyDeleteAnd congratulations on the new baby!
Thanks for the comments everyone! Obviously I appreciate the supportive comments more, but I find it interesting how inciting the topic of "natural" or drug-free childbirth can be. I wrote a "rebuttal" of sorts...if you missed it it's here: http://bansheewails.blogspot.com/2010/10/written-word.html
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