Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Do you need a reason?
Once upon a time BBBB asked me why I wanted to have children. It seemed like a simple enough question, but it surprised me by being difficult to answer. He was having a hard time finding a reason as well - he just felt he wanted to.
There are many reasons we're told are wrong reasons - to fix a marriage, because you're bored, etc. But what are the right reasons, really? I've toyed with the question off and on...asked several people I know, my mother included. Her answer was one I share - because they're fun. That's not to say they aren't a LOT of work. But babies and children can be fun. I had a new thought tonight as I pondered the question again.
Currently, my reasons for wanting to have a child or two (possibly 3) are this:
1. They really do seem fun. Holidays especially, are more fun with children around.
2. To make a direct and personal contribution to the future. (this was the new thought). Think about it - when you raise a kid, really raise them, you impart values and ideals. You help shape that person who will one day be a fuctioning member of society (one hopes). And as such a member, they will shape the future - and their own children, continuing the process. What more direct or personal way can we shape the future than by raising children?
3. I'm curious. This may not be the best reason, but it is true. I'm curious about the experience of pregnancy and childbirth. I am curious what our children would look like; be like. I wonder who they are and want to meet them.
4. I think there's a biological pull as well. Some instinctive force that melts my heart when I see a baby and reminds me that I'm getting older. :)
There are many reasons we're told are wrong reasons - to fix a marriage, because you're bored, etc. But what are the right reasons, really? I've toyed with the question off and on...asked several people I know, my mother included. Her answer was one I share - because they're fun. That's not to say they aren't a LOT of work. But babies and children can be fun. I had a new thought tonight as I pondered the question again.
Currently, my reasons for wanting to have a child or two (possibly 3) are this:
1. They really do seem fun. Holidays especially, are more fun with children around.
2. To make a direct and personal contribution to the future. (this was the new thought). Think about it - when you raise a kid, really raise them, you impart values and ideals. You help shape that person who will one day be a fuctioning member of society (one hopes). And as such a member, they will shape the future - and their own children, continuing the process. What more direct or personal way can we shape the future than by raising children?
3. I'm curious. This may not be the best reason, but it is true. I'm curious about the experience of pregnancy and childbirth. I am curious what our children would look like; be like. I wonder who they are and want to meet them.
4. I think there's a biological pull as well. Some instinctive force that melts my heart when I see a baby and reminds me that I'm getting older. :)
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